It swarms around my head searching for a way inside. I wish I could bolt the doors and windows and scream out, but instead I invite it in for tea. I get few words in, too busy cooking and feeding. I welcome the insults, which sound satisfyingly more painful in my own voice. “You’re going to drive yourself crazy” others say, they don’t understand.
So hard to break beneath the waves that crash and swirl around me. The salty taste fills my mouth and nose and burns inside my chest. If only I could swim back to shore, where the water was beautiful.